The Story of Oscar

A young man named Oscar wandered into one of our Community Conversations.  He was at the library looking for some meeting or other and wondered if ours was it.  It was not but he decided to stay and join us.  At this particular meeting we were discussing the Stigma of Mental Health and addressing the unmet mental health needs of so many among us.  We had an animated conversation for close to an hour and a half during which Oscar remained silent.  Before we wrapped up I asked Oscar if he had any thoughts on the subject.  He started out slowly but then he opened up.

Oscar first told us that this meeting was meant for him.  Oscar told us that he is very lonely and has no one to hang out with.  We peppered him with questions such as ‘where is your family?’, ‘what about work friends’, ‘church’ etc.  It seems his family does not live near here and he has not seen them in some time.  He has work friends or acquaintances but he is alone in his apartment.  Recently Oscar was outside and saw a snail.  He picked the snail up, brought it in his apartment and named him Gary.  Gary is now Oscar’s pet and his friend.  He cares for Gary and has Gary to look forward to everyday when he comes home.

We asked him more questions and he told us what he would really like is a girlfriend.  We could work with this.  What about church? – They are all over 50.  What about local nightclubs? – There is lots of drinking and he does not know anyone there, he has tried that option.  What about going to some of the fabulous restaurants in Waltham?  - He does go sometimes and asks for a table for one.  What about local colleges, Bentley and Brandeis, you could start hanging around them? – He will think about it, or maybe he will volunteer at the library.

I worry about Oscar and others like him.  He seems like a sweet, kind young man but being isolated and lonely is a terrible combination.  I am no diagnostician but I suspect he also suffers from depression.  Regardless, he is in danger for a shortened life.  Evidence suggests isolation can have serious physical health implications. http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/08/dangers_of_loneliness_social_isolation_is_deadlier_than_obesity.html

And a quick check on the internet unloads volumes of articles about isolated young men and women being easy prey for all manner of ill-advised activities.  We, as a community, need to figure out how to help the Oscars in our world.